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Broken Hearted

Posted by Unknown on 5:14 PM in , , , , , ,

So today’s satnite (06-10-2012) gone really right, and bad on the other side.
What I’m tryna say is that, It has both sides.
I’m really happy that I spent my satnite with my girls and my crush!
But suddenly it turned out not be like what I ever wanted…

I was positively sure that he likes me like totally.
I was over the top thinking about that, then I fell really deep into this hole.

Well his name started from this capital : J.
We can call him Jason for now.

Jason is a shy kinda guy and he’s like younger than me.

I had this feeling since I met him the third day of school when I bumped out from grade 11.
That day, I just realized that he was really cute, kind, good-looking and quite.
I gave my number to him, and he called me, I mean, missed called me.
And we’re texting to each other.

And I thought he’s like really into me.

And I’m obviously wrong.

He already dated 2 girls since the first time he was in grade 10.
And I’m like single from the first semester of grade 12.
Like I’m passionately waiting for him.
GODDAMN.

But I kept it cool, like nothing’s wrong with that.

I met him today with the girls and we’re hangin out together.
My hopes are up, I thought he’ll like come to me and make me release my hopes one by one.

And things went wrong…

I dunno if he was like shy or he doesn’t like me or else.
All I know is that I’m the one that always come to him to have convos.
And sometimes, he walked far around me like I’m a monster.

I HAD A LONG TIME TO DECIDE WHAT CLOTHES TO WEAR, WHAT MAKE-UP TO PUT ON THIS MOTHAFUCKIN FACE, AND WHAT HEELS TO PUT ON MY SMALL FEET.
I’m like all prepared with good style!
I’M LIKE HOT, LIKE FUCK!!

GOD, it was all useless.
I’m tired and all I got is just piece of shit tearing my heart apart.
Like I tried to be fashionable but, HELL NO USE.

And there was another thing.
I acted mature in front of him.
But it was just, it had no difference between the silly me and the mature me.

It was all useless, everything I do is a waste of time.

He were looking at my friend’s direction.
I’m not sure if I’m being too possessive or else, but what I know is that he doesn’t appreciate my work.

So maybe he’s just not really into me.

And I’m not all pretty like what I expected.
I lost my confidence.
I’m all broken.

It’s no use tryna to be a confident girl, it doesn’t work that way with me.

I just don’t think we’re both, me and Jason, will make it.
OUR RELATIONSHIP.

I’m tired getting all my hopes up.
I’m tired being all confident.
I just don’t have any other purpose.
Even with a lower level guy, I mean, he’s like younger than me.

So it means that..
He rejected me in some kinda way.

There’s no need giving my love to guys.
And there’s no difference between girls and guys.

When I found someone perfect, that I love, they’re all suddenly gone.
Traumatizing.
I’m all fed up with that.

So long my love stories..
Well at least, I knew that he’s just some useless dildo, a BIG FAT JERK.

Kay I’m all done with you fuck face.
And don’t ever come near  me again you son of a bitch.
Don’t ever regret walked far away from me, if someday I’ll become a hot bitch you pussy.

If you wanna get near me again, make sure you practice how to give a good sex with yo mom sucka.

Man I am soooo unconsciously childish :p

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